13

Personal Cup Noodle Machine, If You Need It You Need It

Who are we to judge?  The idea makes a lot of sense for game rooms, convenience stores, dorms, even 24-hour study halls.   I guarantee it would have sold out at my school, every single day. 300JPY seems a little steep for dried noodles and questionably clean water, but choosing Cup Noodles probably indicates you aren’t that picky to begin with.

via Gizmodo

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12

Prepara Saves Herbs, Not Money

http://www.prepara.com/img/img_product-herb-savor.png

What can the Prepara Herb-Savor do that a half-full glass of water can’t?  Gank $29.95 out yo pocket, that’s what!  Instead, how about a live herb garden?  Then take your savings and buy some McNuggets.

Prepara

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11

Lunch hooker

Leaving unsatisfied is no way to end a meal. (Or lovemaking session…or flea market troll…or…) Like realizing, once it’s your turn to be served, the $3.95 Vietnamese sandwich you were already eating in your head is sold out, and so is the brown rice futomaki acceptable substitute. Time’s short, muthafucka! Maybe in the basket…the “rainbow” roll. Anemically thin, topped with limp, yet still appealing, unagi and avocado. Luckily “limp” means “probably ripe and tasty” in this arena. Maybe I should ask her how much it is. Nah, can’t be that much. Futomaki’s only $4…and this is way smaller. $6.45?? $7.05 with tax?? Good lord! I pay. I eat. I pick at wasabi and ginger in between bites to extend our time together. By roll’s end, it’s a one-way conversation; a painful hard-on while your partner’s already dreaming. Leaving unsatisfied is no way to end a meal.

My stomach said “not hungry” but my heart said “sweet” (a rarity). $3.40 later I’m tucking into a still-warm but super-saccharine oatmeal raisin, and sipping pilfered, surprisingly cold coffee. (As I’m wan to do, paying for the small, taking the medium) I’m still confused when, if ever, Specialty’s will make a semi-sweet with nuts. And I remember, what the fuck am I doing? I don’t even like this place.

My lunch hooker’s left me soggy and only semi-turgid, more for the anticipation than anything else. $11.00. I paid the price.

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